Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Once upon a school time, there lived three little pigs. The first one was not exactly little, he was tall and named Tallpig. Tallpig is the
pig in class. The second one was a female, named Janpig. Janpig was the
student in class. The third was not very little at all. He was named KBP. No, not kao bu pig. It's Kong Ba Pig. He was the
during lessons. All three of them were good friends and went to the same school. Their school, a holy school, had only one teacher, called Pigu.
Mr Pigu was marking attendance.
Then, Pigu went on to teach. He asked the class to take out their homework, and called Tallpig to present his answer to everyone. Tallpig said he didn't know how to do that part, and Pigu pounced on him and said:
"Aha! I've caught you! So easy also don't know how to do! Are you sure?" Pigu slaps Tallpig and asks him to do that part in class. While Tallpig is slogging it out, Pigu speaks to the rest of the class. "This is what happens when you do not do your homework! The whole class has to wait for you! You are wasting everyone's precious time!" (Note: the whole class consists of two pigs+Pigu.)
Tallpig took ten minutes to complete the work. While he walked out to present his answer, Pigu continued, "YOU HAVE WASTED ONE THIRD OF A PERIOD!" There was no response from the class. At this point of time, Janpig received an sms from her friend, who was studying in the next door school, SYPH. (SouthYang Pigs High) She extracted the handphone from her pocket using her trotter. The sms read: "What happened? Your class was late for 10 minutes ma? I heard your teacher scolding you..."
Unfortunately, Pigu saw Janpig reading the sms. "Janpig! You should be doing your TPS! (ten pigs series) Why are you reading your sms-es? Come to the front now!"
Janpig said, "But Mr Pigu sir, my friend was telling me she heard you scolding Tallpig! I was in awe and amazement because this shows the power of your voice!" Pigu stared at Janpig with his small beady eyes and remained silent for a few minutes. When left with nothing to say, Pigu spat, "
" Janpig continued, "But Mr Pigu sir, I was being my polite-test, and what I said was indeed true! I wonder how your voice would sound like with a mic!"
*Janpig screams in excitement at the thought of hearing Pigu with a mic and faints*
Pigu slaps Janpig to wake her up and says, "No I don't need a mic. Is that an insult to the power of my voice? My voice confirm louder than the mic!
" Technician pig walks away.
Janpig: "But Mr Pigu sir, I'm in your school! Might you possibly be getting on with age, just like my TYS? My TYS has left out some questions, maybe your memory has some ho-les in it too!"
Pigu, having nothing to say, ignores Janpig and turns to Tallpig. "There, you know how to do what! Why you say you don't know how to do? Give me your homework I see! There, you got do your homework what! Aha! I know! You copy right? You not forget to do la! Is forget to copy la! You left out that part never copy right? Copy then say la!..."
*rambles on with a huge grin on her face, smiling gleefully. Think headmistress from Matilda and the female twit from The Twits, both by Roald Dahl*
At this point of time, Tallpig turns his head 135 degrees southwards and vaguely spots Pigu moving his mouth.
Tallpig: "Huh? Were you speaking? I'm sorry, I was looking towards the horizon so I didn't spot you! I'm terribly sorry!"
*Tallpig slaps a fly he thought he heard was buzzing around but was actually Pigu talking*
KBP: "Haha! Tallpig too tall already. Cannot see you sir."
Pigu: "Kong Ba Pig! You are my favourite student in class! How can you say this to me!
*KBP gives HP number and continues with his TPS.(in case you've forgotten, it's Ten Pigs Series)*
*While Pigu continued to lecture Tallpig who continued to look into the horizon and KBP turns around and borrows correction tape from Janpig, who was reading a sms from her friend who was asking her who was the idiot pig who keep asking whoeveritis what school they were from*
Pigu, from the corner of her eye, spots her fave student turning around. He said, (or at least at a volume he thought was speaking but was actually screaming) "KBP! Why are you turning around to talk! Why you not paying attention! Come here!"
KBP: "Pigu sir, I was borrowing correction tape from Janpig! I wasn't talking about anything else! I didn't even say what I thought of your height!"
KBP: "HAHA! Liquid paper old liao! As old as you! As old as my old TPS(tenpigseries)! Now people use correction tape!"
KBP is speechless, because he is amazed at the kind of things Pigu asks when he has nothing else better to ask. Like what school people are from.
Pigu starts to mark student's work and is squinting hard without glasses.
Pigu: "Bell ring! Stop writing! Hand in your work now! I say stop writing! Write name also cannot! Hand in now! I walk out of classroom I don't collect anymore!"
Pigu finally walks out of the classroom and the three pigs lived happily ever after.