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Sometimes I ask myself. Why do I even bother?

jam scribbled at 10:05 PM

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Jam's Ideal World: 20 logical ideals

Here's what will happen in my ideal world:

1. There are no insects. Cockroaches should be extinct first. They are of no significant use to the world. They waste space and waste insecticide. (Just like some people *cough cough*) Next to go should be mosquitoes. Then there would be no Dengue Fever.
2. Chinese is not a compulsory subject from primary school onwards. However, everyone loves it so much that they insist on taking it so it's like compulsory anyway.
3. Chinese teachers get Higher pay. Not because they're good, but because they teach Chinese. Because I love Chinese. (Plus because it's my ideal world)
4. In schools, the only type of Chinese compos students are asked to write are bao4zhang1bao4dao3 or yi4lun4wen2.
5. Everyone hates Mathematics. Yes, everyone. Including you. (Because it's my ideal world you see.)
6. There is a Maths B syllabus. (Just like Chinese B)
7. The JMOE(read: Jam's MOE) tries to come up with new methods for teaching maths therefore teachers must make maths lessons interesting. They must come up with Maths games and we must have talkshows on tv about maths so that students can be forced to watch these programmes and try to like maths. (Also to give them a chance to complain about how boring the maths shows are)
8. Finally the JMOE gives up and makes maths optional in JC. However, those maths lovers complain and therefore there is Maths AO.
9. To finish it up, the JMOE declares that when entering Uni, maths is a bu4suan4fen1(read: never count marks) (because nobody likes maths, hence they don't know how to count) subject.
10. Maplestory is a compulsory subject in secondary school onwards.

• Parents' old saying: 'Ah-boy ah! Why you still pray Maplestory? Pray pray pray, not sian ar! Go and do your maths!'
• Parents' new saying: 'Ah-ger ah! Why you still do maths? Oso neber count muks! Do do do, not sian ar! Go and pray Maplestory lah! Later exam come out you dunno how?'

(Due to blogger's poor functions and partly my poor skills, have to start from 1 again.

The number in the brackets is the correct one)

1. [11] In promos, you can get F for everything but not Maplestory. You fail it, you die liao.
2. [12] Library Club is a prestigious CCA. Everyone rushes to join during CCA orientation and all library clubs in Singapore (finally) have the satisfaction of choosing people to join instead of the other way around. They get to say 'A-ha! You so lan4! Also want to join library? HAHAHAHAHA!' (you must understand, we do not get to say that in our whole lives)
3. [13] On Fridays, parents go to school instead of children. They learn how to communicate with teachers so that when teachers slap their precious children for misbehaving, the parents do not slap the teacher back. (or complain to some big-shot organization saying that the teacher hit your precious little baby with a soft-cover book) Thus parents get an off-day from work, therefore couples will be encouraged to have children for the 4-day week. (Employers are not allowed to refuse to employ married couples, or unmarried couples with children. (since there are many cases anyways) )
4. [14] We, the students of secondary school and above, get a break on Childrens' Day since it is extremely unfair that primary school kids get a break on BOTH Youth and Childrens' Day but we only get one.
5. [15] 2nd September is Students' Day. On this day, teachers express their gratitude for students and the latter receive cards written "Happy Students' Day! Thanks for being such a great student." Then we will stop giving cards with the exact same words printed on about half a milliion of cards and start to write something else.
6. [16] Students get to choose their *cough cough* CHEMISTRY TUTORS. *cough cough*
7. [17] At the mature age of 18, (YES WE ARE MATURE DON'T YOU DOUBT THAT) guys go for MS. no-it-is-not-a-typo. Mapleservice. They receive intense training in Maplestory gaming so that they can defend Mapletown using skills from different jobs such as archers, magicians, warriors and thieves.
8. [18] Everyone is as shy, reserved and introverted as me so that I can apply successfully to be a radio DJ or teacher. (not that I have applied but I already know the results.)
9. [19] The lunar 8th month is the Xiong1Ya2Li4Gui3Jie2 (HUNGARY Ghosts' Festival) and the hungry Chang-E comes down to eat mooncakes. (remember the uproar caused by the inaccurate translation of the Hungry Ghosts Festival by our tourism board?)
10. [20] Every boy/man's ideal weight is 46 kg. (sorry guys.) As for girls...who cares? No la not so bad. Girls not too heavy...450kg can liao. So that girls can stop going on diets and all the slimming centres will close down. Guys can pump iron until the iron bar becomes needle to lose weight. (Eh? I don't need leh! Yay.)

Did you remember the title of the list? "Jam's Ideal World: 20 logical ideals"

jam scribbled at 8:05 PM

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I've just learnt that there can be nice people too. Everytime I read the newspapers, almost everyday there would be reports like wife murders husband, old woman gets robbed, headless corpse found or whatever. All over the world. However, there are kind people too.

On the eve of teachers' day, I went back to TCHS. Met my sec 4 form teacher, didn't talk with her a lot as there were a lot of students anyway, and all the teachers had to rush for a staff lunch at some high-class place. (I suppose) But in the late afternoon, I received a phone call from her. She asked, 'Aiyo! Why are you getting thinner and thinner!?' Then she asked about how my family was doing and such. Then, we chatted a while and she told me that if I faced any problems, I was welcome to go back anytime to talk to her, she would be very willing to lend a listening ear. I was very touched. So nice right?

Superstar Finals. Filmed on tv: when the 24 superstars were walking in a crowd out of the changing rooms and out to the stage, Wei Lian was in the middle of everyone. I suppose he suddenly felt very lost, and asked, 'Kelly zai4 na2 li3?' Then Kelly (AH!! KELLY!! SO PRETTY AND SING SO WELL!!!) said in a very gentle voice, 'Wo3 zai4 zhe4 li3.' So nice right?

And Finals again. Heard this on radio. When the competition was over and everyone was getting off the stage, everyone forgot about Wei Lian who needed assistance. Well, almost everyone. Shi Xin Hui didn't forget him and went to help him. So nice right? Shi2 rocks. (shi2=rock) Ok never mind.

Shi Xin Hui was so beautiful during the finals!! After shrinking from 42-inch tv, she looks much better. I like her hairstyle =D

I hate promos. I hate maths. I hate promos. I hate maths. I hate promos. I hate maths. I hate promos. I hate maths.

jam scribbled at 8:48 PM

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