Saturday, September 10, 2005
Here's what will happen in my ideal world:
- There are no insects. Cockroaches should be extinct first. They are of no significant use to the world. They waste space and waste insecticide. (Just like some people *cough cough*) Next to go should be mosquitoes. Then there would be no Dengue Fever.
- Chinese is not a compulsory subject from primary school onwards. However, everyone loves it so much that they insist on taking it so it's like compulsory anyway.
- Chinese teachers get Higher pay. Not because they're good, but because they teach Chinese. Because I love Chinese. (Plus because it's my ideal world)
- In schools, the only type of Chinese compos students are asked to write are bao4zhang1bao4dao3 or yi4lun4wen2.
- Everyone hates Mathematics. Yes, everyone. Including you. (Because it's my ideal world you see.)
- There is a Maths B syllabus. (Just like Chinese B)
- The JMOE(read: Jam's MOE) tries to come up with new methods for teaching maths therefore teachers must make maths lessons interesting. They must come up with Maths games and we must have talkshows on tv about maths so that students can be forced to watch these programmes and try to like maths. (Also to give them a chance to complain about how boring the maths shows are)
- Finally the JMOE gives up and makes maths optional in JC. However, those maths lovers complain and therefore there is Maths AO.
- To finish it up, the JMOE declares that when entering Uni, maths is a bu4suan4fen1(read: never count marks) (because nobody likes maths, hence they don't know how to count) subject.
- Maplestory is a compulsory subject in secondary school onwards.
- Parents' old saying: 'Ah-boy ah! Why you still pray Maplestory? Pray pray pray, not sian ar! Go and do your maths!'
- Parents' new saying: 'Ah-ger ah! Why you still do maths? Oso neber count muks! Do do do, not sian ar! Go and pray Maplestory lah! Later exam come out you dunno how?'
(Due to blogger's poor functions and partly my poor skills, have to start from 1 again.
The number in the brackets is the correct one)
- [11] In promos, you can get F for everything but not Maplestory. You fail it, you die liao.
- [12] Library Club is a prestigious CCA. Everyone rushes to join during CCA orientation and all library clubs in Singapore (finally) have the satisfaction of choosing people to join instead of the other way around. They get to say 'A-ha! You so lan4! Also want to join library? HAHAHAHAHA!' (you must understand, we do not get to say that in our whole lives)
- [13] On Fridays, parents go to school instead of children. They learn how to communicate with teachers so that when teachers slap their precious children for misbehaving, the parents do not slap the teacher back. (or complain to some big-shot organization saying that the teacher hit your precious little baby with a soft-cover book) Thus parents get an off-day from work, therefore couples will be encouraged to have children for the 4-day week. (Employers are not allowed to refuse to employ married couples, or unmarried couples with children. (since there are many cases anyways) )
- [14] We, the students of secondary school and above, get a break on Childrens' Day since it is extremely unfair that primary school kids get a break on BOTH Youth and Childrens' Day but we only get one.
- [15] 2nd September is Students' Day. On this day, teachers express their gratitude for students and the latter receive cards written "Happy Students' Day! Thanks for being such a great student." Then we will stop giving cards with the exact same words printed on about half a milliion of cards and start to write something else.
- [16] Students get to choose their *cough cough* CHEMISTRY TUTORS. *cough cough*
- [17] At the mature age of 18, (YES WE ARE MATURE DON'T YOU DOUBT THAT) guys go for MS. no-it-is-not-a-typo. Mapleservice. They receive intense training in Maplestory gaming so that they can defend Mapletown using skills from different jobs such as archers, magicians, warriors and thieves.
- [18] Everyone is as shy, reserved and introverted as me so that I can apply successfully to be a radio DJ or teacher. (not that I have applied but I already know the results.)
- [19] The lunar 8th month is the Xiong1Ya2Li4Gui3Jie2 (HUNGARY Ghosts' Festival) and the hungry Chang-E comes down to eat mooncakes. (remember the uproar caused by the inaccurate translation of the Hungry Ghosts Festival by our tourism board?)
- [20] Every boy/man's ideal weight is 46 kg. (sorry guys.) As for girls...who cares? No la not so bad. Girls not too heavy...450kg can liao. So that girls can stop going on diets and all the slimming centres will close down. Guys can pump iron until the iron bar becomes needle to lose weight. (Eh? I don't need leh! Yay.)
Did you remember the title of the list? "Jam's Ideal World: 20 logical ideals"
jam scribbled at 8:05 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
eh... your ideals are so kiddo-ish.. but sumthing for you to fantasize la.. (wonder how you can think guys will be mature at 18 when you at 17 isnt. LOL.)heheh.
you're only 46kg?? WOW. And I thought I was bad enough at 49! Lol. Hahaha...love the idea of MS. Welcome it ANYTIME. HAhaha...And yes. I loathe maths too. But the chinese part doesn't sound like a good idea 'cause to me, chinese is much more of a nightmare. Haha...no offence to LEP students lah. =)
Haha..you managed to inteprete my last sentence =P Oh looks likes you're a pure science lover then..no maths no chinese..haha. and no offence lah..lol
leon~~~~~~~ sebastian~~~~~~~~~~
soonhui-ing
*note i added a new word to my vocab bank~
About time, too. =D
Sebastian~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
soonhui-ing
the first two words are not my only vocab, but they are the best words, especially the first
lol, so fun to ally with weiying ny.. haha.. jam, ur blog now looks MUCH nicer wif both our comments =)
leon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ seb~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ soonhui-ing~~~~~~~~~~~~
yar sooo fun.. jeremy u shud thank us ur blog sure alot of viewers now thanks to 2 of us!
save me~~~~~~~~~~~
OMG...are u tat addicted to maplestory??to think you still criticize me last time about playing too much...haiz...
OMG...is that all you can say??to think you are in sec 3 liaoz...haiz...
haha..doesn't make any sense.
haha! da point abt xiaong ya li gui jie is damn funny larhz.. i heard of it too.. i hope mr thamman or some high rank MOE officials who condemns chinese will c this man.. then they realise that making chinese easier doesnt solve the prob of chi.. it merely makes us look better.
hungAry ghost festival.. who's the translator man.. he/she must be so engrossed mugging/ climbing up the corporate ladder to care about general knowledge..
wei..later officials see my wonderful blog then i will get wonderfully arrested like the other three..then it will be a wonderful day..must proclaim that jia1 bin1 fa1 yan2 bu4 dai4 biao3 ben3 tai2 li4 chang3. don't come and find meeee
if they really wanna arrest me for saying this, i can only say that i feel like chang2 si4 ye2 in cha2 guan3.. just by worrying for his country and saying "da4 qing1 guo2 yao4 wan2 le4" he's arrested..
not as if im making any racist comments liddat larhz..
lalalalalalas~
Leave your mark!
>>>