Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Once upon a school time, there lived three little pigs. The first one was not exactly little, he was tall and named Tallpig. Tallpig is the
most hardworking pig in class. The second one was a female, named Janpig. Janpig was the
most polite student in class. The third was not very little at all. He was named KBP. No, not kao bu pig. It's Kong Ba Pig. He was the
most attentive during lessons. All three of them were good friends and went to the same school. Their school, a holy school, had only one teacher, called Pigu.
Mr Pigu was marking attendance.
Pigu: "Tallpig!"
"Present."
Pigu: "Janpig!"
"Present."
Pigu: "Kao bu pig!"
"Kao bei la! It's kong ba! Don't anyhow call!"
Then, Pigu went on to teach. He asked the class to take out their homework, and called Tallpig to present his answer to everyone. Tallpig said he didn't know how to do that part, and Pigu pounced on him and said:
"Aha! I've caught you! So easy also don't know how to do! Are you sure?" Pigu slaps Tallpig and asks him to do that part in class. While Tallpig is slogging it out, Pigu speaks to the rest of the class. "This is what happens when you do not do your homework! The whole class has to wait for you! You are wasting everyone's precious time!" (Note: the whole class consists of two pigs+Pigu.)
Tallpig took ten minutes to complete the work. While he walked out to present his answer, Pigu continued, "YOU HAVE WASTED ONE THIRD OF A PERIOD!" There was no response from the class. At this point of time, Janpig received an sms from her friend, who was studying in the next door school, SYPH. (SouthYang Pigs High) She extracted the handphone from her pocket using her trotter. The sms read: "What happened? Your class was late for 10 minutes ma? I heard your teacher scolding you..."
Unfortunately, Pigu saw Janpig reading the sms. "Janpig! You should be doing your TPS! (ten pigs series) Why are you reading your sms-es? Come to the front now!"
*Janpig walks to the front and shows Pigu the sms*
Janpig said, "But Mr Pigu sir, my friend was telling me she heard you scolding Tallpig! I was in awe and amazement because this shows the power of your voice!" Pigu stared at Janpig with his small beady eyes and remained silent for a few minutes. When left with nothing to say, Pigu spat, "
I don't think you are being very polite to me!" Janpig continued, "But Mr Pigu sir, I was being my polite-test, and what I said was indeed true! I wonder how your voice would sound like with a mic!"
*technician pig walks in*
Technician pig: Hi Mr Pigu, would you like to use the mic?
*Janpig screams in excitement at the thought of hearing Pigu with a mic and faints*
Pigu slaps Janpig to wake her up and says, "No I don't need a mic. Is that an insult to the power of my voice? My voice confirm louder than the mic!
I don't think you are being very polite to me!" Technician pig walks away.
Pigu: "What's your name?"
Janpig: "But Mr Pigu sir, my name is Janpig."
Pigu: (having nothing to say, says) "
What school are you from?"
Janpig: "But Mr Pigu sir, I'm in your school! Might you possibly be getting on with age, just like my TYS? My TYS has left out some questions, maybe your memory has some ho-les in it too!"
Pigu, having nothing to say, ignores Janpig and turns to Tallpig. "There, you know how to do what! Why you say you don't know how to do? Give me your homework I see! There, you got do your homework what! Aha! I know! You copy right? You not forget to do la! Is forget to copy la! You left out that part never copy right? Copy then say la!..."
*rambles on with a huge grin on her face, smiling gleefully. Think headmistress from Matilda and the female twit from The Twits, both by Roald Dahl*
At this point of time, Tallpig turns his head 135 degrees southwards and vaguely spots Pigu moving his mouth.
Tallpig: "Huh? Were you speaking? I'm sorry, I was looking towards the horizon so I didn't spot you! I'm terribly sorry!"
Pigu: "
I don't think you are being very polite! What school are you from?"
*Tallpig slaps a fly he thought he heard was buzzing around but was actually Pigu talking*
KBP: "Haha! Tallpig too tall already. Cannot see you sir."
Pigu: "Kong Ba Pig! You are my favourite student in class! How can you say this to me!
I don't think you are being very polite! I'm so hurt! We will talk later! Give me your number so that I can call you!"
*KBP gives HP number and continues with his TPS.(in case you've forgotten, it's Ten Pigs Series)*
*While Pigu continued to lecture Tallpig who continued to look into the horizon and KBP turns around and borrows correction tape from Janpig, who was reading a sms from her friend who was asking her who was the idiot pig who keep asking whoeveritis what school they were from*
Pigu, from the corner of her eye, spots her fave student turning around. He said, (or at least at a volume he thought was speaking but was actually screaming) "KBP! Why are you turning around to talk! Why you not paying attention! Come here!"
KBP: "Pigu sir, I was borrowing correction tape from Janpig! I wasn't talking about anything else! I didn't even say what I thought of your height!"
Pigu: "Why must use correction tape? Why cannot use liquid paper?"
KBP: "HAHA! Liquid paper old liao! As old as you! As old as my old TPS(tenpigseries)! Now people use correction tape!"
Pigu: "
I don't think you are being very polite! Why must use correction tape? Why cannot cancel?
What school are you from?"
KBP is speechless, because he is amazed at the kind of things Pigu asks when he has nothing else better to ask. Like what school people are from.
Pigu starts to mark student's work and is squinting hard without glasses.
KBP: "HAHA! Cannot see don't gey-kiang la! Wear your old-flower spectacles la!"
Pigu: "
I don't think you are being very polite to me! What school are you from?"
*Bell rings*
Pigu: "Bell ring! Stop writing! Hand in your work now! I say stop writing! Write name also cannot! Hand in now! I walk out of classroom I don't collect anymore!"
Pigu finally walks out of the classroom and the three pigs lived happily ever after.
如与现实生活有雷同, 纯属巧合。
jam scribbled at 8:15 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
lol. thats a really long story! HO hoho. ehh what school are u from? teach u to write such good stories inspired from everdyay ocurrances? :D hha.
-clara
lol ty..hahaz. i hope i dun get sued or anything...
lolz...jeremy!!! u super pro liao..todae kbox rap lyk crazy...lyk super pro n EVEN better than actual singer..now ur story..even better lei!! i support u of writing similar stories in the future..haha..mayb will hav more to come...esp with all the pigs flying around u..keke..
wahahas. no la i anyhow one. as for stories...depends on when SHE will stir up such events again =) maybe during christmas. HO hoho.
Yr of dog oni la.haha,dun pig here pig there.Hapi CNY! n go visit my blog=x
yooooo just found ur blog =] hehe wah ur story super long sia hahaha
eh DJ...my story is indirectly referring to one of the teachers in our school one. haha. i visit your blog liao lor =) hi yang xiang..haha who's your chem tutor? =x
Leave your mark!
>>>