formulae: hop + e

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I did a good deed the day before. Guess what? I helped a cat take the lift! It was hiding in a corner suspiciously when I reached the...lobby(?). I stared at it staring at me staring at it. If you get what I mean. Then the lift door opened and I heard its footsteps when it ran towards the lift. No, I was lying. Cats' footsteps can't be heard.

Actually, I just saw it rushing towards the lift. Then with extremely quick reflexes I jabbed the "Door open" button just in time to prevent the cat from becoming cat food. (Ok maybe that didn't need reflexes of THAT speed.) Then I was standing at the buttons area and the cat hid in a corner of the lift. I stared at it staring at me staring at it. I thought it was trying to seduce me with its sexy cat eyes. (But I didn't get seduced anyway. I have much higher standards.) Then it went right in front of the lift door again and sat there waiting for the door to open, back facing me. (It gave up trying to seduce me. What an extremely lack of perseverence.)

I decided to harass it by making meowing noises to the best of my ability. (This was under the knowledge that only the cat and I knew what I was doing.)

Then the cat whipped around and before I knew it, extended its claws and left three long red marks down my legs. I forced open the lift door and threw it out of the lift, never to be seen again.

(The above paragraph is a lie.)

(The following is true.)
Upon hearing my fantastic imitations of meowing noises, the cat turned around and gave me a why-is-this-person-continually-trying-to-make-meowing-noises-and-failing-miserably kiind of look. Then it turned its back on me again (what a cat!) and the lift door opened and both of us walked away in separate directions.

Then I realised. Oh. My. God. The cat just took a lift. On its own. Except that it had to wait for someone big and tall like me to press the lift button.

Ok, I shall leave the rest of the typing to tomorrow.