formulae: hop + e

Friday, August 06, 2004

quote of e day--
"oh! thank you!" (chanml, making worshipping actions in front of mi.)
mrs lee: jeremy, r u ready for ur speech?
mi: huh? wad speech?
ng soo nee: wa, u dun giv speech wan to come here n eat free food...hav to work for ur food...
mi: i worked for four yrs!
chanml: (apply qotd)

lame rite....anyway, today attended e very simple farewell.....gathering(?) [cant call it a party] for sec4 librarians. as usual, theres the buffet(n as usual all the usual food, i mean its almost e same every yr!!) n den givin out of cert of appreciation to sec4s. den giv out outstandin librarian award by level.

i saw e name when i entered. it wasnt mine. i forced out a smile when yihan pointed it out to mi discreetly. i dunno wad to feel. <WARNING BHB ALERT>honestly, i was.....expecting tt i wud get it. y? coz it had been, in e case of sec4s, the chairman wud get it. even last yr, when there was a special case of two awards for sec4, e vice chair n chair got it. now.....i dunno. i know its not some prestigious award. perhaps u wud juz snigger n say 'lamer!' bt i dunno y i view it wif such importance. i missed it in sec1, got it in sec2/3, missed it to e same person in sec4 again. sigh. i dun understand...im sure i put in more effort then him...at least, i organised more activities den him...work attitude...i dun tink i display poor attitude, at least....i've never missed my duty once....y? y is it tt i m not getting it this yr? im not jealous...juz feeling a sense of emptiness. four years in the club...n i walk away wif a measly cert juz lyk everyone else. m i really not as gd as him? wad is e reason tt all e tchrs didnt vote for mi to b chairman during elections last yr? altho i still got the post, bt i hav been troubled till now..n i still dun hav e ans. in any case, i managed to push my emotions aside n put on a smile. i found it especially hard to when rose announced the sec4 level. bt, i tink i managed to suppress my feelings...until i reached home. din feel lyk doin anyting else. tts when i thot abt all this questions. i mean...big deal...so wad if i din get it? bt there was juz this bugging feelin which i dunno wad. anyway, i felt better after plunging down in a sofa n reading for e whole afternoon. can put ur thots aside. ur still reading on? thanks... i thot u wud've stopped by now. many ppl tink library club is lame.

sometimes, u dun realise how much u want something until u dont get it, or u lose it.

What a super horrible day
When everything doesn't go your way
When all you've put in doesn't pay
and no one listens to what you say. (hey! yushu's horoscope abt gemini for this wk is quite true. altho one cat is black doesn't mean all cats r black =X)